census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
