I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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