All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
