lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
