: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
