WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
