Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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