How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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