Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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