did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
