So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
