Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
