Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she smelled like a LAN party
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
porn star boner night. come get it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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