i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
