so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize