you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
PANTIES FOUND
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