I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
