After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize