no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
