I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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