That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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