great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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