She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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