can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
