I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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