Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
