How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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