I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
try to milk me bitch
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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