your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
