Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize