Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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