I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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