with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
