I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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