So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
