loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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