i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
