i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
