yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
