I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
