I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
