I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
