That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
