singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
