You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
