Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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