I hate all girls vehemently.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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