So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's blow job season.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
