sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
