Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
