Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
