So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
