we have pet lesbian snakes
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
