Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Randomize
