im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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