My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We left the knife in your bed.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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