Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
