Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
