So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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