I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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