imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
