So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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