its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
