OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
