I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
