So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
