Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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