i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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