On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
