somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I wish I only lived at night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
