I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
