We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
