I must be too annoying 4 u.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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