i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
