so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
