Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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